Don’t Be Shy

Being shy can be a very frustrating experience and you may find times when you are completely lost at what to do. I have this feeling many more times than I wish to remember but over the years have found a couple of tips which have helped. Remember overcoming shyness is something personal, different things will work for different people; my hope is that you get even one idea that will help for you too.

1. A little distraction.

If you are anything like me you will sit there and go over events in your head, each time becoming more frustrated with yourself. Even though you know that this will not help, you can’t help thinking about what went wrong, or what you should have done.
So what can you do? You need to find something else to do, something simple that you enjoy but something that takes your thoughts off shyness.
Things that work for me include:

1. A walk while listening to a podcast. I find just walking, or just listening to music means my mind will wonder back to shyness frustrations. But a podcast that makes me think works well.

2. Hire a DVD – comedy works best.

3. Read. I usually have one book I am reading, getting a hot drink and reading for a hour or so is very relaxing and takes my mind off things.
All three get my mind thinking about something else and help calm and relax me.

TIP: Take time now to think of a few activities that would distract you, because trying to think of something when you are upset and frustrated and be hard and just add to your frustration.

2. A little understanding

Give yourself a break –just like you would anyone else. Think about it, how would you react to someone who was scared to go up and talk to a stranger, keeping in mind that they had very little practice and possibly some bad experience when it came to this. Would you expect them to just do it and magically feel comfortable and confident? I’m guessing not, you would give them a break and understand that trying new things is scary and it takes time to be comfortable. So to start with give yourself a break and stop any negative thoughts in your head.

3. A little reminder

Shyness is something you can reduce and overcome. This isn’t permanent, over time as you gain more experience and try different things your confidence will increase and then one day you will find yourself looking back at how shy you use to be.
To be honest this is doesn’t work as well when you are younger (teens/early 20’s) but as you gain some more experience and look back you can see how far you have come. So even if you still have a little to go, you know it is possible. For those younger shy people, I know it can be hard at times to see overcoming shyness is a real possibility – I remember thinking I would be the exception, that it would never happen for me – but it has, so all I do is say if I could do it, so can anyone.