What if I have no social events to attend?
As you strive to reduce shyness it is important to extend your comfort zone. This means you will need to venture out and socialize with others. But what if you have no social event to attend?
Usually when people talk of social events they mean parties, networking events, dinner parties, going out to dinner, work parties, concerts, charity events… But when I first started making an effort to overcome my shyness I looked at just going to work as a social event. I used morning tea as a chance to observe how my co-workers interacted. Once this was comfortable I started to join in the conversation. To start with my contribution was nothing more than a few words, but soon I would ask questions and express my opinion. For several months this was all I could cope with.
When chatting during morning tea felt much easier I decided to try the same at the gym. I first said hello to some of the other regulars, then I would make small talk. Again, going to the gym and work during the week was plenty of socializing for me. So I spent the weekends on my own or with very close family or friends. Then one day I was invited to a party by one of the girls at the gym. After a fair bit of anxiety I decided to attend and surprised myself by having a great time. After that a couple of us would go out every other Friday night. Being an introvert, this was plenty for me.
So if you are reading this and thinking you don’t have any social events, look at where you currently interact with others. School, work, going to the gym are all socializing opportunities. These are the perfect place to start because you are already going there. It doesn’t take much to become a more social person. Smile, make eye contact and say hello and as this gets easier look for the next step.
April 16th, 2008 at 4:51 am
I just stopped by your blog and thought I would say hello. I like your site design. Looking forward to reading more down the road.
Robert Michel
April 17th, 2008 at 7:16 am
Very good advice. One of my main problems is that, as I don’t have social events to attend, I don’t have many friends. And, as I don’t have many friends, I don’t have social events do attend. With the ideas you described, it’s possible to start little by little and someday achieve what you want.