Using Regrets To Your Advantage.
Years ago I was with a small group attending the filming of a TV show. During a break, the floor manager came over and said if we wanted we could go and say hi to whoever we wanted. This was such a surprise and good fortune, yet I didn’t take it. I felt like an idiot and sat there even though I wanted nothing more than to go say hello. The break ended and shooting started again. It didn’t take long before I was thinking ‘why didn’t I go over and say’Hi’. I knew the answer of course: fear. Fear of being rejected or of looking stupid in front of someone I admired.
But don’t worry, this story has a happy ending (sort of) It is because of that one regret and missed chance that I have taken action since. If hadn’t been for that one lost opportunity I wouldn’t have been so determined not to miss the next one. If it hadn’t been for that one lost opportunity I would not have fully understood just how much regrets suck. It was from that one event that I decided that I didn’t want any more regrets.
The chance to meet that particular person has not happened again (yet), but I have said hello to a couple other celebrities I like. Even though I was very nervous, as I approached them I was not focusing on the shyness. The driving force had changed to knowing I had to do this or I would regret it. But it is not only these opportunites that I have taken, other situations where I know I will regret not doing something, I know take action. It doesn’t always work out perfectly, but I know it is better than having that nagging regret.
If you don’t ask out that guy/girl you like and then they graduate/change job/move and you don’t see them again, don’t dwell too long, instead use it to motivate you to take action next time. Next time ask them out. I promise you that you will regret not asking considerably more than if you ask and get a ‘no’.
Posted: March 13th, 2008 under My Shyness, Tips and Tricks.
Comments
Comment from lotusflower
Time March 18, 2008 at 10:29 am
“People so seldom say I love you And then it’s either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn’t mean I know you’ll never go, Only that I wish you didn’t have to.”
“One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead”
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”
Comment from patty
Time April 8, 2008 at 5:41 am
an incident like the one you described led me to take a chance socially with a man who i ended up marrying. we’ve been happily married for 20 years. thank you for the post, and the wonderful honesty and generous spirit present in this blog.
Comment from Dee
Time April 8, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Thank you all, I appreciate the comments and kind words. 
Comment from Blake
Time March 14, 2008 at 9:19 am
This is a good post, and it sort of reminds me of a quote I heard not too long ago.
“20 years from now we will be far more disappointed in the things that we didn’t do than the things that we did”
I really that one, it helps get over the fear of action. I’ll try to use what you advise; whenever I regret a decision I make, I will use it to motivate me and not let it happen again.