Using Regrets To Your Advantage.
Years ago I was with a small group attending the filming of a TV show. During a break, the floor manager came over and said if we wanted we could go and say hi to whoever we wanted. This was such a surprise and good fortune, yet I didn’t take it. I felt like an idiot and sat there even though I wanted nothing more than to go say hello. The break ended and shooting started again. It didn’t take long before I was thinking ‘why didn’t I go over and say’Hi’. I knew the answer of course: fear. Fear of being rejected or of looking stupid in front of someone I admired.
But don’t worry, this story has a happy ending (sort of) It is because of that one regret and missed chance that I have taken action since. If hadn’t been for that one lost opportunity I wouldn’t have been so determined not to miss the next one. If it hadn’t been for that one lost opportunity I would not have fully understood just how much regrets suck. It was from that one event that I decided that I didn’t want any more regrets.
The chance to meet that particular person has not happened again (yet), but I have said hello to a couple other celebrities I like. Even though I was very nervous, as I approached them I was not focusing on the shyness. The driving force had changed to knowing I had to do this or I would regret it. But it is not only these opportunites that I have taken, other situations where I know I will regret not doing something, I know take action. It doesn’t always work out perfectly, but I know it is better than having that nagging regret.
If you don’t ask out that guy/girl you like and then they graduate/change job/move and you don’t see them again, don’t dwell too long, instead use it to motivate you to take action next time. Next time ask them out. I promise you that you will regret not asking considerably more than if you ask and get a ‘no’.
March 14th, 2008 at 9:19 am
This is a good post, and it sort of reminds me of a quote I heard not too long ago.
“20 years from now we will be far more disappointed in the things that we didn’t do than the things that we did”
I really that one, it helps get over the fear of action. I’ll try to use what you advise; whenever I regret a decision I make, I will use it to motivate me and not let it happen again.
March 18th, 2008 at 10:29 am
“People so seldom say I love you And then it’s either too late or love goes. So when I tell you I love you, It doesn’t mean I know you’ll never go, Only that I wish you didn’t have to.”
“One’s real life is often the life that one does not lead”
“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves - regret for the past and fear of the future.”
April 8th, 2008 at 5:41 am
an incident like the one you described led me to take a chance socially with a man who i ended up marrying. we’ve been happily married for 20 years. thank you for the post, and the wonderful honesty and generous spirit present in this blog.
April 8th, 2008 at 7:17 pm
Thank you all, I appreciate the comments and kind words.