7 Tips to Start a Conversation.
Successful conversations are all about being genuinely interested, polite and friendly. Here are some tips to help you become more confident at starting conversations.
1. Be pleased to see people. Show them you are happy to see them, smile and talk with enthusiasm. Shyness can often hide the fact that you are actually pleased to see people so it important to understand how you come across to others. And it’s not so much about what you say, but how you say it. Don’t overdo the enthusiaism, but if you are happy to see them, make sure it shows.
2. Offer a genuine compliment. Tell people if you like their work, or handbag or their last email made you laugh. The golden rule here is to make sure the compliment is genuine. Don’t make something up. It will come across as being fake and odd.
3. Remember small details about co-workers, and friends such as hobbies, weekend plans, home projects. This provides you with numerous conversation starters such as “How was your cousin’s wedding?” “How’s the house hunting? “ How did Kevin’s basketball team do this weekend?”
4. Using your surroundings to trigger the conversation is recommended by this site. Point out a piece of art work, a photo, or the decor, ask what they think, do they like it?
5. Match the listeners mood. This site explains why it is important to match the listener’s mood. If you are shy you are unlikely to bound over to the excited person and with a big handshake ask how they are enjoying the party. But the basic idea works, if you see a person who looks bored, tired or shy, match their moods when you start a conversation with them.
6. Ask a question. People love to talk about themselves so this is the perfect way to start a conversation. If you know them you can ask after their family or work, if you are meeting them for the first time you can ask the usual “where are you from?” “what do you do?” questions. For shy people asking questions places the conversation focus on the other person, giving you time to relax and feel comfortable before contributing.
7. Practice non-verbal communication. Confident outgoing people have open body language, they make eye contact and smile often. If you have trouble looking people in the eyes start with looking at them between both eyes, they will not be able to tell and it gives you a chance to feel comfortable and increases your eye contact. If you often look down or away make a conscious effort to look at people when they are talking. Once this becomes habit, you will do it automatically.
July 15th, 2007 at 5:05 am
I was always told to picture people in their underwear. This is not something to recommend. It doesn’t really work and is more likely to put you off!
July 15th, 2007 at 8:04 am
today was my premiere on your blog. Wow, nice one !
i guess, now im read more frequently past …
July 15th, 2007 at 9:34 pm
Those are great tips. I always find it difficult to start a conversation with strangers out of the blue. Some people do it so naturally.
July 16th, 2007 at 6:38 am
Some useful tips. Actually I am very shy but people would never know with the job I do! It’s a horrible feeling when I am so shy but I have to push myself forward. Some people make it more difficult than others.
July 16th, 2007 at 3:50 pm
[...] forget the importance of what your body is saying. Likewise when you start a conversation, your body language as the conversation develops is very important. Keep the eye contact, a [...]
July 22nd, 2007 at 11:02 am
Awesome advice. Starting a conversation and breaking the ice for some people, namely myself, is a difficult thing to do at times… especially when the other person’s body language reflects that they really don’t want to talk to you–even if that’s not the case, maybe they lack conversational skills as well…
I think a lot of advice on the internet regarding this issue assumes the other person you are speaking to has perfect conversational skills, and you are the only one lacking.
The question is, how do you deal with the other set of people that… don’t have good eye contact, don’t smile, and are shy? The tips you provide could go for any of the two types… great job!