Don’t Be Shy

Being love shy is very common.  Even those who don’t experience shyness in other situations can find themselves feeling a little shy when it comes to matters of the heart.  Meeting people and getting to know them doesn’t have to be so hard.  If you are shy and looking for love, here are a few ideas to make it that little bit easier.

1. Meeting people.
First off you have to get out there and meet people.  Going up and saying ‘hi’ can be a very daunting thing to do.  So one way to make this easier is place yourself in situations where there is common ground.    For example; take a course, do some volunteer work, join a local club or  sports group.  Meeting people in situations like this is great  because you have conversation topics given to you.  If you take a night course, you can talk about the topic, homework, how you found the subject, when they got interested in this topic etc. 

2. Getting to know people.
Developing the relationship in a deep friendship comes about as you spend time together and get to know each other.   Make this easier by being satisfied to take it as slow as you need.  If it takes you a little longer to let your guard down, then that is fine.  Even if that one person isn’t the one, you will gain confience just by talking with them. 

One advantage about being shy is that you are probably a great listener, really listening to others is the perfect way to get to know them better.  Just remember to share a little of yourself too. 

3. Asking someone out.
Asking someone if they would like to have a coffee can be a natural development of a friendship.   So if you have had several conversations then this makes the asking out much easier. 

But if you want to ask out a person that you see often but don’t really get to talk to, such as someone at work, school, or that works in a shop/café etc that you visit regularly.  In these cases it can be harder to get to know them without asking them out.  There is only so much you can say while you buy another cup of coffee.   In these situations I would suggest asking yourself – will you regret it if you don’t ask this person out.   If you would regret it, then you know it is worth the risk of rejection.  However, take your time, say hello a few times, and engage in small talk when you get the chance.   Asking if they would like to get a cup of coffee is a gentle way to ask someone out.  It doesn’t feel as big a step as asking them out to dinner and so is a good starting place.  

4. Faith in love.
Not so much a tip to make it easier, but it is important to have faith in love.   Have faith that the love you desire will find you. 
 

But what about the possibility of being rejected?
If you were a director looking for an actor to play a role in your new movie, chances are when you go to cast the role you already have a clear idea on the type of person you want to play the role.   There are always those times that someone comes in, that is not what you were initially thinking, but gets the part.  But in most cases you, the director will find someone who matches the mental picture in your head and they get the part.

Although not the most perfect analogy, there are similarities when choosing a partner in life.  While you are ‘looking’ you probably have a few ideas on what you what you would like the person to be like.  And likewise, other people also have ideas.   Add this together with all the other little things that are important like, common values and ideals and you can see that there are reasons why people aren’t suited.  This is not any one’s fault; it just is what it is.  

However, if you have experienced rejection then you know how much it sucks, take the time you need to recover.  Don’t be discouraged,  now you are one more step closer to finding the right person.

If you’re shy and looking for love, don’t be hard on yourself.   You may need to take your time to get to know people.   Get out there and join groups of people with a common interest and/or goals.  This will give you a good foundation to get to know people.   And remember to keep faith in love.