Why I don’t like phones.
One of the first steps in my quest to overcome shyness was to ring up a store and ask what time they closed. When this was easy I rang and asked if they stocked a certain product followed by a query. It didn’t take me long to then move on to face-to-face social challenges. The thing that puzzled me is why I still had a strong dislike for phones. When mobile phones became common I resisted as long as possible before finally giving in and buying one. Even then I didn’t really use it, other than texting.
I hate the phone ringing for three reasons.
1. It interrupts me. If I am in the middle of doing something important, I dislike the interruption even more. Once I am in the right flow of work I can get a lot done, interrupt that and it can take me long time to get that flow back.
2. It means I have to be quick thinking. Often people ring to ask something. This can be stressful, especially at work. I hate answering questions without having time to get all the information and think about it.
3. After each call I need some time to regroup. The social aspect of the phone drains my energy and I need time to get this energy back. (except calls from close family and friends.)
I honestly thought it was only me that had this aversion to phone calls, but research shows that many introverts feel the same way. Introverts by nature don’t like interruptions. This is a giant relief to know that at least I’m not alone.
How I deal with this.
1. Understanding that I felt this way was the first step. Being able to say, hey I don’t like getting phone calls and feel okay with it, was very refreshing.
2. I had to find a way that people could contact me, and have it a method I would feel comfortable with. So I now ask people to contact me via email. If they ask for my phone number I give both my number and my email address and tell them that I check email more often than my phone.
3. Yes, I still have a mobile phone, but I no longer let it interrupt me. I always felt funny turning the phone off, so instead I turn the ringer to silent and put it on the side table. This way it only takes a glance at the phone to check to see if there are any messages.
4. When I do find myself returning calls, I do so at a time that suites me.
5. When I am caught (usually at work) and get a phone call I often ask the person if it is ok to ring them back in 10 minutes with the answer. I find this much easier (and less pressure) that trying to find the answer for them while they are on the one end of the phone.
I wanted to share this because for so long I thought it was me, some character fault. But I was wrong, it was my introvert nature. It was nothing wrong with me, just the way I am. Understanding this really allowed me to accept it and find ways to deal with it. So if you have a dislike for phone calls it may just be your introvert nature. If this is the case some of the tips above might help.

