Overcoming Shyness Part 1: Start from Acceptance.
You’re shy. So what!
Being shy doesn’t make you inferior or unworthy. It simply means that in social setting you feel uncomfortable and you aren’t as talkative as others. Conversation skills, eye contact, feeling relaxed can all be learnt and your shyness can be overcome or reduced. Shyness doesn’t define who you are, so don’t let it.
If you are shy beating up on yourself will not fix it. It will not make you more outgoing, more confident or more talkative. If fact it is more likely to do the opposite. If you are shy you are shy. Try not to focus on whether it’s good or bad. It is what it is. It is far more productive to focus on taking steps towards your goals of overcoming or reducing your shyness.
Accept it.
There is no point wishing you were like your outgoing friend or chatty co-worker, don’t focus you energy and time on ‘what if’s’ or ‘should’s’. Instead accept where you are now and plan to take small steps to work towards where you want to be. If you have trouble talking to checkout operator or the kind lady that serves you at the bank, you co-workers or boss, the other students in your course. Know that that is where you are now and that is ok. It’s ok, but it doesn’t mean that’s where you have to say if you don’t want to. You can choose to chance it.
Move forward from where you stand.
Starting from where you are is always the best place to start. If you try and start from where you friend is or where you think you should be your chance of success is small. Once you have accepted your shyness, you can now start to take small steps to move forward. This is when it gets exciting.
July 24th, 2007 at 4:20 am
It is not always easy to watch your friends have more fun. I spend all my time thinking what if this and what if that. Glad I found your blog, I’m sure it is going to help me out.
July 26th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
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