Overcoming Shyness For Introverts.
One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced while working to overcome shyness is that I am shy and an introvert. So I need time alone each day to regroup and reflect. But my goal to overcome shyness requires that I talk and interact with other people. It is a balancing act. I need to give myself the time alone, but without using it as an excuse to avoid interacting with others.
There are 6 things that I have found the most helpful to overcoming shyness while remaining true to my introvert personality.
1. Plan some time alone.
When I have a work function or am attending a party where I won’t know most of the people. I plan time alone after the event, even if it’s just Sunday morning reading the paper with a coffee. I always find knowing that I have this time helps. When I don’t have this planned I try and find it during the event.
2. Have lunch alone.
After working from 8-1pm dealing with co-workers and clients I really need and appreciate leaving the office for lunch. Just taking that time away from every one helped me regroup, relax and gain some energy to get through to 5pm. On the odd day that I had lunch with everyone (usually due to thunderstorms) I felt so tired and drained from about 3pm and it was a real struggle to get to 5pm.
3. Turn the phone off.
I don’t like being interrupted. And I especially don’t like being interrupted when I am having alone time. So the easiest way to do this is simply turn the phone off. People can still leave a message, and I do check my phone often to return any calls. But this way I don’t get interrupted. For a long time I thought it was just me, but after researching character traits of introverts I discovered that introverts don’t like interruptions.
4. Spread out large events.
For me this basically meant that I would only go out once per weekend. That is, going out to work events, or parties. Sometimes events are planned that you are expected/need to attend. When this happens I avoid agreeing to attend other social outings that weekend. Going to the movies, the gym, shopping etc. are separate and mentioned in points 5 and 6.
5. Go to the gym.
I use to love going to the gym, I made some really good friends there. We use to chat before and after classes but in between chatting we would exercise. So it was like chat for 15 minutes, exercise for 6, chat for 1, exercise 5, chat 1, exercise 5 and so on until the end of class where we would chat again. I found this suited both my aim to overcome shyness and my introvert nature of liking time alone. It was the best of both worlds.
6. Go shopping.
Similar idea to the gym. Walking around even with loads of other people about I am alone buy myself. But can stop and talk with people when you feel like it
If you are an introvert and also desire to overcome shyness remember to acknowledge your introvert side and allow yourself to take the time you need. The thing to remember is not use it as an excuse to avoid interacting with others
October 3rd, 2007 at 6:54 am
[...] 27FWPublicAffairs@cannon.af.mil (Tech. Sgt. Steven Wilson) wrote an interesting post today onHere’s a quick excerpt… chat for 1, exercise 5, chat 1, exercise 5 and so on until the end of class where we would chat again. I found this suited both my aim to overcome shyness and my introvert nature of liking time alone. It was the best of both worlds. … [...]
October 8th, 2007 at 3:15 am
As an introvert I can say a big yes to all of these, I need and crave quiet time alone. And I find that when I have it, I am friendlier and more relaxed when I am around people. If I am forced in to one social situation after another with no respite, my shyness becomes more pronounced.
October 8th, 2007 at 4:10 am
Hi Bird - I find the same thing. When I have time for just me planned, I am so much more relaxed.
October 13th, 2007 at 5:55 pm
I have just started a job after being home with my children for a very long time. I feel I have entered into a new time dimension in that things are way different in the work place than they were in the 1970’s. For one thing I am not expected to make tea for my boss in the morning.
Anyway, I am also working in an office situation with people the ages of some of my children. I do not feel I fit in, plus I am working hard to concentrate on learning a new job. This is taxing and, as an introvert, I crave my hour lunch time alone. I drive my car to another site (church parking lot) to “recharge my social battery”, reading a book while I eat. The problem is that I feel I am viewed as being a snob because I don’t have lunch with the others. I also don’t participate in their conversations during work because I am trying to hold it all together work-wise. I try to be friendly and pleasant when I can, but the social aspect of this job is physically and psychologically draining. Which makes me withdraw into my shell even more.
Thanks for listening whoever is out there. I have never done a blog before in my life. I don’t even know if this will work!
October 14th, 2007 at 2:53 am
Nina, Thanks for your comment. I understand where you are coming from. Take your time and try not to worry too much because as your co-workers get to know you, they will see what a great and warm person you are.