How to Keep a Conversation Going.
Okay, so you have managed to start a conversation with someone, now how do you keep the conversation flowing?
Focus on the speaker and just listen. If you are busy thinking about what to say next, you can’t give the speaker your full attention and you can miss important information. What you are going to say or questions to ask will just come naturally if you just listen, and the conversation will flow much easier.
Don’t forget the importance of what your body is saying. Likewise when you start a conversation, your body language as the conversation develops is very important. Keep the eye contact, a relaxed open body posture and don’t forget to smile.
An interesting tip I found here is to parrot the speaker. That is, to repeat back to them part of what they said. The idea is after you repeat something back to them it is now their turn to talk again, and since you showed interest, they will continue to talk in more depth. This is a good tip if you get stuck and are unsure what to say. For example:
Speaker: We just got back from our holiday in New Zealand.
You: New Zealand.
Speaker: Yeah, it was really nice, the people there are really nice and friendly. And we …
Don’t panic if there is a short pause in the conversation. It is perfectly normal and can be used to your advantage as explained here. You can use the silence to help make your point, reflect on what was said, as a pause before changing topics and it also shows that you are comfortable with the situation and person.
Finally, a common tips to help keep the flow of conversation is to ask open ended questions such as “what did you like best about the play” rather than “did you like the play” which typically only gives a yes or no answer. The great thing to remember about all this is that it is a learnt behaviour.
July 18th, 2007 at 3:34 am
That is the problem I have. When talking with people I don’t know well I spend all the time thinking what to say rather than listen.
July 22nd, 2007 at 10:55 am
Those are some great tips. I’ve never read that before, but looking back at the conversations I have with people, I already take advantage of some of those tips you gave and it really does work!
I did learn some new things though, such as focusing on open-ended questions. That’s a great idea… I hate getting ‘yes’ or ‘no’ answers.