How to break the habit and make a change.
Sometimes you just have to do something different - no matter how small.
At time is can be very easy to fall into a rut and even easier to just continue this safe and easy option. But when these actions are not making you happy how do you actually go about changing things?
1. Keep the big picture in mind.
If you are not happy with what you are doing ask yourself ‘what would make you happy?’ Once you know the answer you can use this goal to motivate you when you need to step outside your comfort zone. To make a change in your life there is is a chance that you will need to contact a stranger, ask for help, visit somewhere new, meet new people or similar, and some of this may be unsetting, scary or cause discomfort so knowing exactly why you are doing it will help motivate you to keep going. An example is if you are wanting to join a gym to improve your fitness. It may be a step outside your comfort zone to approach a gym and ask about their programs but this task is made considerably easier if you remind yourself that you are very much committed to improving your fitness and visualize how much happier you will be achieve this goal.
2. Take small steps.
When you feel anxious or worried about changing things, try something small to prove to yourself that you will be ok. It doesn’t matter how small, simply doing something different will help; walk a different way to work, buy lunch from a different place, small things like this will show that you that you can do something different and you will be ok, in fact it is no big deal at all. Right?. Maybe by walking a different way you bump into someone you haven’t seen in a while or see something in a shop which further inspires you to do something else. Or maybe nothing happens. But keep going, try something else. Small steps soon lead to another then another and soon you have travelled further than you thought you could.
Small steps in practice.
I hate looking for a new job. I simply hate everything about it. I am not comfortable selling myself in writing or person and cold calling in situations like this is still scary. The problem is you need to do both these things to find a job (or be very lucky). So I find myself in a job which I no longer enjoy, knowing I should be looking for another job, but yet I do nothing. I then slowly start to hate the job and dread Monday mornings, but still I find reasons not to look for another job. As a usually very sensible person this is ridiculous – I don’t like my job, but will not look for another. I am in a rut that is not satisfying or making me happy, but it is safe and easy.
So I start small. Mention to one person that I am thinking of changing jobs. Ok, that went fine so I tell another friend. Again that went fine so I update my CV. Everything is still good. Look at advertised positions, contact an employment agency. Each step leads me closer to my goal. Soon I get a few interviews and then a job – goal achieved.
Sometimes small steps may appear as if they are too small to make a difference, but they do – small steps leads to another and soon the momentum takes over. Couple this with an constant eye on the main goal and you really can get moving and achieve your goals.
October 21st, 2008 at 11:50 am
Nice article. Thanks.
Eugene
October 22nd, 2008 at 7:54 am
These are some good thoughts Dee. It’s definitely not easy for me to break out safe and easy situations that I really don’t find satisfying. Sometimes I feel like I’m just tolerating certain parts of my life because of my hesitation to go out a make a change. Tolerating less-than ideal parts of our life is a good way to eventually end up somewhere completely different from where we wanted to be.
I’m going to try putting some small steps into action.
November 4th, 2008 at 10:34 am
I had to smile when I read this post
The first paragraph in “small steps in practice” could be written entirely by me 
I am exactly the same…I’m still doing the same job I hate for years….I’m so frustrated. I try to tell myself that change is good, and that I will feel better, and so on. I hope one day I’m able to move on! I’m working on it.
November 7th, 2008 at 5:19 am
Hi Dee,
I think that even people who aren’t particularly shy can benefit from this post. Those of us who don’t like change all that much still have to step out of the comfort zone now and then. The good thing is that we can create new comfort zones in our newly created realities!
Best,
Lee Ann Lambert
November 24th, 2008 at 3:16 pm
That was an amazing post, and it earned you a new RSS subscriber. Keep up the good work!