How are we going?
First, I would like to thank those of you who have taken the time to comment on this blog or email me. One email said they were too shy to comment, but were very much appreciative of this blog. I’m so happy to hear that my experience, past and present can help others.
My journey with shyness
Over the past month I managed to catch the flu and then a bad cold. They were not fun, and meant that I didn’t leave the house (other than for food) for about a 10 days. I thought 10 days wouldn’t affect my progress, but it did. Before getting sick I had fallen into a comfortable stride with working to overcome my shyness. After a break from that, it seemed too hard to start it up again, and it suddenly felt easier to avoid people. Logically I knew this wasn’t an option, so I took 2 days to reflect, and remind myself how well I have been doing, and how much better it feels to be able to talk to people without feeling anxious. I am now back on track. There is a quote about the things that are hardest are also the most rewarding. This isn’t easy, but it is rewarding.
The overcoming shyness series.
The idea behind this series was to offer practical advice and steps on overcoming shyness. Not just the theory.
When I was a teenager and looked for resources to overcome my shyness, all I could find was ‘don’t worry, have confidence and be yourself’ but how do you actually do this? That’s the part that was missing and what I most wanted to know. Which is why I have included a working example throughout this series.
Part 1: Start from Acceptance. If you are shy you are shy. Try not to focus on whether it’s good or bad. It is what it is.
Part 2: Manageable steps are the key. Take small steps that you can manage. You need to push yourself enough so that you make a change, but not too much that you give up.
Part 3: Have patience and a plan. Have a plan allows you to keep the big picture in mind, but focus on the day-to-day steps and successes.
Part 4: Stop negative talk. Take notice of what your thoughts are saying, and take steps to chance any negative talk to positive.
Part 5: Practice in a safe environment. Taking action and loads of practice is how you will overcome shyness. Practice as much as you can, and do so in a safe environment to help build confidence.
Part 6: Learn to relax. Practice relaxation techniques at home, that you can use when your shyness starts to come out.
Only a few more parts, which I hope to get out this next week.
August 11th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Sorry to hear you were sick!
Whenever you fall off the wagon, it’s all about getting back to the fundamentals, which is exactly what you are talking about with this series of posts. When you fall off the horse, remember why you ride and get back on.
August 11th, 2007 at 2:59 pm
Thank you Dee.
August 11th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
@ James you are so right, set-backs will happen, but each time you just need to get back up and keep going. Knowing your end goal helps alot!
@ Mary, thanks for your email
August 12th, 2007 at 12:28 am
This is an encouraging post. I also like your writing voice. I personally am somewhat of an extrovert, but interestingly, several of my most valued friends are quite shy. Not to label people, but I do find my shyer friends are the more thoughtful and compassionate people in my life. Cat