Helping Shy Children.
I recently received an email asking for advice:
“I need some advice on what to do about my child, aged 4 …. she hides behind me when we visit our new neighbors and doesn’t even say hello! What should I do to help her talk and play with the new children in the neighborhood?”
My suggestion is to talk to your child before you go to visit your new friends. Let her know that you are going to visit friends and that she will be expected to say hello and then goodbye because it would be rude not too. Also let her know she is welcome to join the other children or sit beside you. This way she will know what to expect, and what is expected of her. If she needs to sit with you during the visits then I believe this is ok, though I would suggest asking her if she would like to play with the other children, when you arrive. Give her time and I believe that once she feels safe in the new environment she will leave your side and go play.
Being shy is ok, being rude is not. So expect your child to say hello. She should be able to manage a quiet hello with your support. Some children take longer to feel safe and comfortable in a new place. I don’t consider this to be a problem; your support and some time will help this.
Please note: My suggestions are based on my experience and readings only, you know your child best so if you have any concerns please speak with a professional.
April 12th, 2008 at 1:15 am
This was just the answer I was looking for. Thank you.
April 12th, 2008 at 6:21 pm
As a mom and a developmental psychologist, your advice seems very sound to me. Thanks for putting it out there.