Comments on: Conversation Tip: Use their name.

By: Row

Row — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:44:27 +0000

I’m sorry but I disagree that everybody enjoys hearing their own name. I’m not trying to be rude at all, but I wanted to point out how uncomfortable it can be instead.
I cringe almost every time I hear my own name. I don’t know why – my name’s Rowena and I have nothing against it; but for some reason I feel self-conscious. I have known several people (an ex included) who used to say my name all the time during a conversation and it was horrible! An acquaintance of mine always makes a point of using my name in greeting, but it takes him a few moments to remember what it is: “Hello..er…R..Rowena”. It would be far simpler just to say hello and have done with it.

I find I dislike using other people’s names too, most of the time. I’ll use it to attract a person’s attention, but then the conversation will generally continue without my mentioning their name. There seems no point in it – I can say what I need to say, and be friendly and polite without reminding them of what they are called. And can their be anything worse than an audience member trying to get chummy with the presented when asking them a question “Hi, Cilla, how are you? My question is…” It really makes me shudder!

The same goes for recounting what’s happened to me. There are those who tell of conversations they’ve had which include their own names “…And so then Jane says to me: “Well, Sarah, the way I see it…”". Why bother?

As I said before I don’t wish to undermine this article, and I’m not advocating being antisocial; but I did want to put the point across for the other side – us unfortunate individuals who would rather our names were used only when absolutely necessary!

By: Blake

Blake — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 14:25:11 +0000

I noticed you have one Carnegie book in your sidebar- have you read ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’? There’s a chapter devoted exclusively to this.

Even better still is to remember a person’s name. A lot of influential people benefit from consciously working to remember as many names as possible, then months or even years later, they can greet people by name.

By: How To Break A Habit : Personal Habits For Great All-Round Development

How To Break A Habit : Personal Habits For Great All-Round Development — Wed, 20 May 2009 14:11:26 +0000

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By: Dee

Dee — Fri, 30 Jan 2009 07:22:43 +0000

Thanks qoope.

Linette – that would make a great topic, I will try to post something that might help asap.

By: Linette

Linette — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 02:39:25 +0000

Hi!

I came across your blog and just love it! I was very shy at one time, and still have feelings of inferiority around successful or wealthy people.

My problem is not me, however- it’s my son, who’s 17 and will not call his school friends to ask them to come over. He’s afraid of rejection, he finally admitted to me after months of me trying to coax him. Now, I fear I’ve overdone it.

But I’m trying to find some good conversation starters just to “call your pals.” You’ve got great tips here, which I will share with him bit by bit, but would really appreciate some on phone calling for the first time, to invite a friend over.

Thanks much!
Linette

By: qoope

qoope — Mon, 08 Dec 2008 16:49:51 +0000

Good post thanks a lot!